When Abigail was 12, she and I attended Dannah Gresh’s Secret Keeper Girl event (now known as True Girl). To say it was wonderful is an understatement. It’s geared toward Moms and Daughters between the ages of 9 and 12, and if you have a daughter close to that range, I highly recommend this event! We went with several other moms and daughters, and I think the moms had just as much fun as the daughters!
The truths about beauty, modesty, and personal value I had been trying to pour into Abigail’s heart and mind were taught in a fun, lighthearted, and entertaining way. All of us (the girls and moms) were challenged to value and embrace the way God made each of us. It went beautifully along with what God’s been teaching me through Beth Moore’s book, “So Long Insecurity”.
Here’s something you might find interesting: We learned some fascinating facts about the beauty icon we’ve all compared ourselves to at some point in our lives: Barbie. And we learned that Barbie does not define what is beautiful!
According to a widely circulated pictograph, if the originally proportioned Barbie doll we grew up playing with was enlarged to the size of a real woman, she might stand close to six feet tall—yet balance that height on feet estimated at only about a size five. Her neck would be unusually long and slender, and her waist would be astonishingly small—comparable, some estimates suggest, to the circumference of a young baby’s head. And because of the size and weight of her chest, along with her tiny waist and small feet, she would have to WALK ON ALL FOURS to balance herself!
(The precise measurements vary depending on how different types of Barbies are scaled, but the conclusion remains the same: Barbie was never designed to represent an attainable human body. She is a doll—not a definition of womanhood, health, worth, or beauty!!!)!
For me, knowing this information took the mystique away from this unattainable beauty. I think I’ll keep my shape and walk upright, thank you! (The girls were encouraged to walk around their house on all fours, saying they are “playing Barbie”. This made trying to be like Barbie even more ridiculous to them!)
After some powerful Scripture teaching on how we are all wonderfully made, we were asked to place our hands on a part of our body we’d rather change. Then we dedicated that body part to the Lord. I gave my “Problem Area(s)” to the Lord for His use and glory – and have to tell you… it was freeing!
We were reminded that the “beautiful and perfect” images of women we see in the media are not “real”. They are real women and girls who have had lots of help and photo-shopping.
(Edited in 2026 to add:)
These days, with AI, we don’t know if anything we are seeing or hearing is real!!
So it’s more important than ever that we not compare ourselves to what we see online, on screens, and in pictures. Not only do we need to remind/teach our daughters and granddaughters this truth, but we also need to counsel our own hearts with it.
Neither Barbie, Claude, Chat, Pinterest, Instagram, nor influencers define what is beautiful. True beauty is defined by God’s workmanship and the character He develops within us.
1 Peter 3:3–4, (AMP)
Our beauty should not be merely external—hairstyles, jewelry, expensive clothing or outward appearance. God treasures “the inner beauty of the hidden person of the heart,” expressed through a gentle, peaceful, self-controlled and spiritually mature spirit.
(One key word above is “merely” – which means we can decorate and celebrate what God has given us, without making it define our worth.)
A woman’s life should not be defined by elaborate outward display,
from, 1 Tim. 2:9-10
but by the good works and godly character
appropriate for someone who professes faith in God.
from, Proverbs 11:22
Physical beauty without discretion and sound judgment
is portrayed as beauty disconnected from wisdom.
Appearance alone is never enough.
from, Ephesians 3:11
God makes everything beautiful and appropriate in its time.
Beauty, not Barbie, includes God’s purposeful work in and through His daughter, across every age and season of her life. Even when the mirror tries to make us feel otherwise, let’s purposefully thank God for His Beauty that lives within and shines through us for His glory in this world.
May the beauty of the Lord rest upon you, and establish the work of your hands, my friends (from Numbers 6:24).
